I don't get it. Why are some kids just so mean?
***
Yesterday I took Jacob on our usual walk to the park down the street. He brought along his 4 favorite cars, proudly wore his Tigger hat, and was happy as a clam.
We were busy just playing when a lady came up to us and asked us if we were mormon. (It's so funny how people just know. Hm.) Anyway, She and her four kids just moved here and I was so happy to meet another mom who would be going to our same ward.
While we were chatting it up, her bigger boys jumped onto the tot playground almost overrunning my little guy. But he was happy to have some playmates.... at first.
"Hey Dummy!" I heard the 7 year old boy say. What? You calling my kid a dummy??
He gets "scolded" by the mom.
A few minutes later. Jacob comes and tugs on my arm- still unable to express in words what the trouble is. I see the same kid has taken one of Jacob's cars and thrown it to the other side of the playground.
The kid gets "scolded" again. And I, trying to be polite, say it's ok and go get the car myself with Jacob on my hip.
I didn't want to just ditch the conversation, so I figure I'd let Jacob play a few more minutes while getting to know our new neighbor.
Then...cries. Cries of sadness and some of physical pain.
I was only a few feet away but had been turned a different direction. I see Jacob holding the side of his head with eyes staring at me- as if trying to say, "Ok. I'm done, Mom. I tried hard to play nice. But this big kid hurt me again."
When asked what happened, the 7 yr old says, "Well..... I accidentally hit him."
My blood really began to boil. I'm sure my face turned red as I tried to restrain myself.
Those motherly instincts of protection wanted to burst.
Again, trying to be polite as I knew I'd see this family again on Sunday, I hugged and kissed my boy, tried to help the other kid say he was "sorry" and packed him up in the stroller to head for home.
All I could do was say "Jacob, I'm so sorry. Some kids are just not nice! I am so sorry you got hurt."
I kinda wanted to cry myself.
A seven year old picking on my 21 month old? Come on.
I probably won't be calling this new neighbor to babysit anytime soon...
I know I have so many years ahead of me raising a boy. I'll want to protect him from any danger or hurt feelings. But also, I want to protect him from becoming a bully. I don't know how kids get to that point where they think any of that behavior is ok. I never understood it any of my teaching years and I know it won't change.
All I know is it breaks my heart.
***
Fortunately, MOST park trips have very happy endings...
We'll just take it a day at a time.
5 comments:
I hate that story. Good thing I wasn't there.
I am on the next plane, just show me this kids mom and we'll have some "words." Give little jaco a hug from his auntie Karrie.
I hate that we can't 'protect' our kids all the time. Leland starts school this week and I'm just dying inside that I won't be there if she's picked on or sad.
I think it's worse if you know the parent of the child that is not so nice. It's really hard not to judge them.
poor Jacob, It is crazy how protective we are over our own kids feelings. I would have been so mad too, but probably would have handled it pretty much the same way as you. Also I would like to say that that 7 year old seriously has issues to pick on a baby like that (yes, compared to a 7 year old he is a baby)
Oh no!! Poor Jacob! It stinks seeing your kid be bullied and not being able to stop it before it happens! I wish we could protect them from all of that!!
Owen has the same problem with a kid we know-it makes it really hard when you have to see the parents at church too. We understand.
All we can do is try to raise our kids so they DON'T turn out like those meanies!!
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